The Push.

So, today I decided to check my horoscope for the first time in well forever. And, well I'm going to post it before continuing... (thank you Yahoo for this lovely horoscope):

Daily Flirt:

It's a good time to get started on that new plan or idea that's been brewing in the back of your mind. You may need to try a new approach or get a few assistants from among your friends first.

Anyways, now that you have the horoscope out there for you to see, now time for my interpretation of it. Are horoscopes something that we use to give us that actually push to do something that if we didn't have them, we would be unable to do it, such as a good luck charm. Is a horoscope the same thing as giving someone that extra push for help to do something that they wouldn't otherwise have the strength to do so if they didn't have the horoscope? If you read the horoscope, and decide to do something based on what the horoscope said, isn't it creating the fortune written in the horoscope.
Ever hear of the saying "A real man makes his own luck". (think, it was in Titanic.)  And I don't know about you, but I believe that one hundred percent. If you want to be with someone, get up the balls to go up to them, and ask them. It's that simple.
Luck and horoscopes are something that I believe are based on what we do to make them good or bad. If you read a horoscope that says "you will have a bad day" than you think that you have a bad day. And then of course, you do actually have a bad day.
Maybe we just need dumb luck, and horoscopes to make our day a good day. However, with or without that rabbit foot, or without reading a horoscope, life still happens. We just have to stay on the surfboard for the ride.

What is a Friend?

*Yay! My internet is up and running!
Anyways, back to my blog..or what I was trying to write.
What is a friend? Is it someone that is always there for you, through thick and thin, up and down, when you're sad, they are sad, when they are down, you're trying to think of ways to make them feel better. They are your support system, people that make you feel good about yourself.
However, some friends that I talk to make me feel worse about myself. Some make me feel like going into the laptop and punching them, and some just make me wanna cry. One friend, for example, makes me feel like what's going on in my life is unimportant to them, however their stories about prom and college seem to matter much more than my story about anything else.
Other friends use me. Another friend just calls for rides and shit, and it makes me feel like all they want is a free ride, like my friendship is for their benefit. Well, friendship is a two way street, you bitch, you can't fucking use me, and then when I want to hang out with you, say that you're busy. And then you ask me to do your fucking work. Guess what? Not going to fucking happen bitch.
Basically friends are the people that should make us happy. Not mad.

The Aftermath

Is it me, or after every storm, the weather is always beautiful? After every battle, the sun lies there, egging us in to do better then what we did before.
In life, storms come at us in all directions, in hurricanes, or in fights that we humans have. We just have to deal with them, and come together with those around us because the storms help us become strong, a more tightly woven chain then what existed in the past.
In three days (well give or take now), I will be at school. What a scary thought, a new school year when you still haven't read that SAT book, or even did your summer reading. In some ways, I guess that a new school year is a good thing because it's a chance to wash away last year's mistakes, the same way that hurricane Irene did to some of the houses along where my beach house is. (My house still remains standing by the way. Awww yeah, take that Mother Nature)
Now that we have to rebuild, we have to forget what was once there, and only focus on what will one day be there, one day another house will lie in where yours once stood. In love, the same thing happens; when someone wants to break up with you, eventually a newer and better model will come in, with all of the memories that you will need.
I guess, the aftermath of every storm will always be sunny and bright,

*Thanks to Hurricane Irene, my internet is currently down. This might be be last entry for a few days, but I will be writing them by hand, and going to the local libary to use their internet. Hope everyone else made it through the storm in one piece, and together, we can slowly but surely develop a better community. Of course, it would be nice to have my internet working again.

A Craving.

Ever have something that revolted you so much, but then all of a sudden have a completly wierd craving for it, like you can't explain why you have it, it just got there? Yeah, well that happened to me yesterday. I was listening to the Titanic soundtrack, while eating Chocolate Creme Pie (ohhh, so good), and then all of a sudden, I wanted to have sex.
I never thought I'd be one to even want to have that, for one thing, it really looks like it would hurt. But, yesterday, while it poured in buckets, all I wanted to do is have hot sex somewhere. I don't know with who, I just kinda was in the mood for it. Like whenever you're in the mood for a burger. You had a craving for it. Something about having sex in the pouring rain turned me on. (Note to a future boyfriend.)
The point of this lovely and silly story is that is it healthy to have this kind of craving when you're seventeen, and single? Maybe these cravings had to do with the new moon, or something. Or the fact that I always wanted to do it with a man in uniform. The point is, is it healthy to have the craving to do it? And is it healthy to conceal the desires that we have?
A craving for sex isn't a craving for chocolate. (I kinda want chocolate..just saying.) So, is it healthy to want to have sex..or is it something that we should try to hide, or keep inside?
Joys of hormones.

*Oh, and I survived hurricane Irene without power losses or anything. Woot, thanks Irene for being so kind to me!

Last Year's Mistakes Equals This Year's New Opportunites.

Last year, I made the mistake of falling for someone that didn't want to fall for me, and in the end, I just used that person to get over Mr. Big anyways...
BUT NOT THE POINT PEOPLE!
The mistakes that we made last year, whether in love, school or whatever we have to deal with in life should be swiped away, because it happened last year. New year, new mistakes. So, let's make the most of this new school year, because life's too damn short to really give a damn about anything else.
To Luke Danes, I would like to wipe the slate clean. We both fucked up, me more than you, and I would like to start the year off fresh, as friends, because we really just need more friends in life, we don't need any enemies to make the year suckish.
Why can't we be friends?

*Oh, and I live in CT so this might be the last entry for a few days...thank Irene for this, because she's a fucking bitch.
FUCK YOU IRENE, I'M READY FOR YA!

Harry Potter: In Between the Lines.

Harry Potter is definatly one of the series that has been a part of pop culture, a franchise of books, movies, and other merchandise. Of course, until very recently, I decided that it was basically something that looked completly pointless.
And then, Charlotte and Samantha forced me to read the series. Today, I have FINALLY finished the series. (yay!)
And I must say, it's a very good series. While reading them, however, I noticed several things between the lines of the books, what most people chose to ignore. I think they are like fairy tales, because like fairy tales, they take place in a world that we only dream about, and they have a life lesson or two tucked into the subtext of the novel.
So here's some of the lessons that I have discovered while reading Harry Potter.

• The importance of true friends. In all seven books, and all of the adventures in the series, we don't see Harry going about it alone. He usually has Ron and Hermoine by his side with him. The series shows us, the readers, that true friends will be there for you, whenever you are fighting Lord Voldemort, or you just need some girl/guy advice.
• Sometimes, we DO fall for a friend. It just takes time, like seven years, and jealousy. So, take your time, like Ron and Hermoine, and you never do know what's going to happen in the long run.
• Never stop dreaming, no matter how crazy they may seem. They may just come true one day. Like Ginny's dream about Harry. She always had a crush on Harry, and although she dated other guys throughout the series, she didn't give up on the idea of one day being with him. And, look what happened with them.
• The desire to be a bully is usually an outlet from being neglected as a child (Hello, Lord Voldemort, I'm talking to you). If someone is mean to you, they might be a tortured soul because of what had happened to them.
• Laughter is always the best medicine. Fred and George will always be my favorite characters, and their sense of humor always got them in trouble, but let's face it-they were funny. They always were there to bring humor to a situation, and that's a lesson that's always worth learning.

It's rare to find books like these nowadays, and I think that the Harry Potter series will become a true modern day classic for generations to come.

We All Have Probelms...

Today, I was watching the show Awkward, and I realized something. Everyone has probelms. Like in the show, Sadie deals with her wieght and her mother's pressure on her to be thin, which is why she probably is such a bitch to everyone. Everyone has a war to fight, in this life. Whether it's lonliness, an eating disorder, or something else, we have some sort of thing to fight, a probelm to face, or something that will bring us down to the point we are crying ourselves to sleep. Sometimes, we are scared to ask for help, because we are afraid it makes us look weak.
But, I guess if you can admit that there's a probelm it's the first step to dealing with it. It's better than taking your anger out on innocent strangers.
In life, we see teens going through so much, and then turning to drugs and drinking, and basically trashing what we are given. But, there are people that want to help us; we just have to let them do it. You are not weak for admitting you have a probelm with something, it makes you look like you're ready to accept with it, and begin to solve it.
The solution can mean many things. It can mean realizing that no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, and we can move on from there. It can mean forgiving those who have hurt us. It can mean moving on from the person who we wish was ours. It can mean calling up a friend for help, because that's what friends do. At least the good ones anyway.
The probelms we face are beneath the glass surface that we display to the public. We all just have to crack it to find them.

*Oh, and my friend Samantha is a lot like Jenna, she just wanted y'all to know that.

Used to Be Used to Is Used.

Ever been used by a person? You know, for money, or for company, or for all of them fancy things that are out there?
I've been used by Harry, someone using me as a pawn to get over some girl that he wasn't spposed to like, and apparently, being with me helped or some shit. Or he realized that he wanted to be with her, and I guess I helped with the decesion making proccess.
Whatever.
Recently, I got to thinking. And I realized something. I realized that I did the same thing, to a different person, without the whole I love you thing. In order to forget about Mr. Big, I used Luke for that.
I guess that I'm more like Harry than I thought. Just great. If I start walking like a robot, then please stab me with a fork or something.
I thought by using Luke, I would be able to get over Big, and perhaps be in some sort of relationship by now. Instead, I think I've trapped myself in a hole that I hope I can get out of with Mr. Big, that whole I text him, he doesn't respond kind of thing. I miss him more than ever, and I think about those eyes, although I wish that I didn't. I always think to myself, what would Big tell me to do if I was with him at this exact moment.
More than anything I want a time machine. To skip the time I spent with Luke, and to spend it all with Big. He was always nicer. But no, I had to be stupid. I had to spend time with the boy who draws dirty pictures, and doesn't give a shit. When Luke made fun of Big, I could have not laughed, and I could have been defending him. I could have saved him some trouble by not having those pretend feelings, which at the time I thought were real, and then people wouldn't be going behind my fucking back, to talk about what was going on between us.
In the end, by using someone, I ended up screwing myself.
I guess that's what I get for using someone in the first place.

Too Young For Sadness, yet Too Old for Stupidity.

Sometimes, I like to curl up on my couch in a ball, and watch romantic comedies. I don't why I do it, it's just something I do that I can't explain. It's something good to do when I feel like dreaming of a life that I know that I will never live, the person of my dreams telling me that they are mad for me, and we'll live happily ever after.
Yeah, that will never happen.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm an old lady at seventeen, who only wants to stay at home on Saturday nights because she likes to dream of Mr. Big, rather than live to eventually find someone to forget about him. The fact that I can't even let myself move on, instead of watching Dirty Dancing or some other romantic comedy that I have been watching lately, is pathetic. It's like I want to run, but my feet won't make the motions. It's sad, considering I'm a runner and all. It's like someone glued my feet together.
I often wish the movies were my life, but then I know that they were made up by some producer out there in Hollywood.
Love is one of the most painful emotions, when the person you wish to be with doesn't see you that way.
At the end of the day, I know that it's for the best. But a person can't help how she/he feels, although they wish that feelings were like a light switch, you can turn them on and off at your own pace.
I guess I should try to turn the feelings off, if that's humanly possible. I guess the people in Brave New World had it right-it's better living as a robot than with a heart.

Pressure.

Ever feel that you were under a giant wieght; something to pressure you to do something or act a certain way, or not to act a certain way because you feel that's the way that you're not expected to act? But, over time, with a heavy wieght, and a delicate person, it can break you.
The pressure to be perfect is one that every woman struggles with. To be the perfect lover, the perfect student, employee, basically being good at everything, to be that right person to everyone's needs.
Then you realize, NO ONE IS FUCKING PERFECT!
We're human. We make mistakes. Some color outside the lines, some can't knit, and some chose to wear a different brand just because they think it's cool. The imperfections of the person is what makes them real, nothing too perfect is something that is real, and can last.
Sometimes, we reach that point where we want to scream from all of that pressure. And that's when we talk to a friend, because with good friends help us deal, and realize that we are not alone in this world. They make the world seem less scary because we all have bad days-they just make it more barable. I guess with the help of a really good friend, or two, (like Charlotte and Samantha), I guess that over time they help make the world seem better than you would without someone there.
In the end, with a help of a good friend, the wieght of the pressure to be perfect somehow lightens enough so that instead of it crushing you, you end up carrying it.

The Need.

Ever see those bull shit quotes that girls put on their mirror pictures on facebook, with without you, I would be nothing and all of that bullshit that means nothing.
First of all, it's way to get attention, and to have people look at you. But, it's just really annoying, because no one wants to read a bunch of love quotes followed by bikini pictures..
Silly kids on Facebook these days.
So, I must ask you girls, do you even know how riduclous you sound? Do you even know how stupid "Without you, I'm nothing" is? You sound like Bella Swan- a needy bitch who only gets joy from one thing, her boyfriend Edward Cullen. You don't need a boy to make you happy. Sure, they make you smile, but there are other things and other people that make you happy.
Sure, boys can make you happy, but the point is, there are other things too.
Take Samantha for instance. She got a boyfriend a couple of months ago. But, yet she still makes time for her friends, and doesn't talk about him all of the time, to the point where I would want to throw a boulder at her.  (Like someone else that I know) She makes sure to see her friends, and her boyfriend, and doesn't hang over him.
The point of this silly rant is love quotes are silly, and there are other things then love to be looking for. I just need to find it.

A Situation: Of Clothes and the Heart.

Yesterday, I had a migrane. So I really couldn't do much, and decided to go through my mind, while watching E News. (Yes, I have no life, but then I couldn't do much else, besides talk to Samantha on the phone, and text Charlotte)
First of all, I learned that Abercombie is paying the Situation NOT to wear their clothes. I mean, he's a celebraty, believe it or not, and America looks at what he wears. Wouldn't the company want him to wear their clothes for advertising? Or maybe, just maybe they don't want him to advertise their clothes, or ruin their image.
Okay, get over it, America. Doctors, go find your cure for cancer. Everyone else, go read a book, because then you'll see that it's not real news. Okay, move on.
Yesterday, I was watching the newest episode of Jersey Shore. And I must say, it was crazy. Mike and Snooki? What the hell? I mean I like someone, but I would never want to cause that person trouble by starting unneeded drama with that person. She/He doesn't like you, you try to move on, admire from afar (like the whole Big incident) or find someone new. Not try to say that they slept with you, or hooked up with you, or whatever Mike was saying about what Snooki did.
If you like someone, and they like someone else, or are with someone else, you have two options: move on, or just stay glued there. When I try to move on, I end up where I started. But, moving on, is something necesary.
Maybe I should stop playing with the broken mirror, and just let everything fall into place.
Yes, I'll do that.

Bucket List

Today, I woke up (well I had to in order to get out of bed to fetch my laptop), and I realized something. Life is too short for me to sit around and watch other people live their lives. I have goals, goals that I really want to one day achieve. I want to say "I did this", not "I wish that I had done this." I mean, you only live once, might as well make the best of every moment known demand.
Damn, I sound like some country song.
Anyways, here's my bucket list:

• I want to learn Sign Language, and French. I don't know why I want to learn those languages, but I think I would be a badass if I could, and then no one would be able to understand what I'm saying unless they spoke those languages.
• I want to go to Italy, France, and Hawaii. (Once I learn how to speak French, that is, since I already know Italian.) Italy is where some of my family is from, and it's beautiful there. And France, well, the Eiffel Tower looks cool.
• I want to learn how to play piccolo (since I already know how to play a flute, this might be kinda easy), and the violin. I don't know why, those intstruments just look pretty interesting things to play. That, and I like the sound of them.
• I want to spend a summer at the Jersey Shore. (before you say anything, I actually enjoy the beach, and wouldn't mind spending a complete week there.)
• I want to actually get a book published. Why? Because I think it would be cool to have a lot of people to be reading what I wrote, entranced by my ideas, and listening to what I have to say.

I hope to one to accomplish all of these goals, because I know that with every task I accomplish, I will be able to say "Yayy, I did this!" not "Man, I wish I can do that." I want to tell my grandchildren how I lived, and what I did with my life. I want to make every moment count, not every moment wasted.
So here's to my bucket list. What's on yours?
And here's to making it count.

What Has Televison Taught Us About Love?

Like every other American, I've been interested in the television more than the news. Today, I realized something about it-what was between the lines. Televison teaches us lessons about love, we just have to look for them. So, I've composed a list of the lessons that I've learned from television shows:

• In the show, The Secert Life of the American Teenager, I learned two lessons. One is not to have sex too young. In the show, we see Amy and Ricky struggle to make things work with their son, John, who was born when she was barely fifteen. We see that teenage sex has many consquences, such as STDs, and teen pregnancy, like we see in the show with the characters Amy, and Ricky, and Adrienne, and Ben. The second lesson I learned is never get married for the wrong reasons. Adrienne and Ben got married because of their baby. You and I both know that is not a very good reason to marry someone, because marriage is something made out of love, not something that is arranged, because of a mistake that you've made.
• In the show Sex and the City, I learned that it's all a balancing act, with your lover and your friends. I learned your friends deserve the same amount of time, maybe even more, than your boyfriend. They were there before your boyfriend was, and they will be there with a tub of ice cream, to comfort and console you when that dumbass leaves you, whether in person or on a post it note, like Berger did to Carrie. They will be the ones that will go out with you to meet someone new, or to gossip about the hot waiter or the mean girl.
• In the show Everybody Loves Raymond, we see what happens when we get older, with love, like in Marie and Frank's case, getting through raising children, like Ray and Debra, and then just starting out, like with Robert and Amy. We also see that love survives through out all of that, through the years of good, and the years of bad. It's all a giant melting pot of love.

These are just the few examples that we have in modern day television. I think that love is like learning how to drive, you can't just rely on the books. You have to rely on experiance, and no one's experiance is quite the same as another persons.

Okay, I Don't Give A Fuck.

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine. We've known each other since freshman year, (well when I was a freshman, and she was a sophomore). She always seemed to have a selfish side to her. Like whenever we would be talking on the internets (Yes, Chris, I said internets, be happy.) Now I'm a high school senior, and she's a college freshman. And over the years, she seemed to get worse. When she went to the prom, she spent an hour talking about it. When she graduated, that was all that mattered. When she goes to driving school, that's all she will talk about, forgetting how I failed when I went, and really don't want to hear about it. And, let's not get started on whenever she likes a guy. She talks about him to the point where you want to beat your head with a rock. And then, just to prove that she cares, she asks "Oh, how was your day?" And, when I talk about something, all she can say is "Ohhh".
I understand that she's excited about the changes in her life, but it's like she doesn't care about my life. Isn't a friendship a two way street? We both talk about things that interest both of us, like me and Jenni's extensive conversations about Jersey Shore in first period. Not in her book. She makes me feel small. She makes me feel like I don't matter, and like my life has no meaning. And, whenever I like a guy, she talks about the longer term of things. Like with Harry, she talked about marriage! She used the words one and only. Those words are scary.
I don't give a fuck about you. I know those are strong words to say, but I really don't. I try to be nice, and it's all about you. I don't want to hear about it, and it's only so much you can hear before jumping off of the edge screaming. It's like my life means nothing, and your life, with your relationships, is all that matters. You don't care about anyone, because you are selfish. I'm sorry to say this, but this is true, bro. There is only so much selfishness that you can take, and honey, I'm at my limit.
Over the years, with friends like these, it makes me grateful for the ones that don't suck. The ones that are always there. *Enter Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda, and Jenni.* At least they are not selfish bitches. I hope they don't think of me as being selfish, because I don't mean to if I am. Their life is amazing, and I love to hear it. They are like family, and they matter more than my petty little probelms. They know when to leave a subject alone. They know when to be concerned, and when not to be. They don't have to prove that they care, with comments like "next year, I hope you meet yours".
Sometimes, it takes someone bad, to realize someone good.

She's Too Young For You, Bro.

So, I was watching Jersey Shore. (It's my guilty pleasure, what can I say?) And there was a segment on younger girls in a club, with older guys. So, I got inspired, and decided to compose a funny list of random "she's too young for you bro".

1. If she doesn't know what Myspace is, she's too young for you bro.
2. If she uses a fake ID, then she's too young for you bro.
3. If she writes with crayons, instend of pens, then she's too young for you bro.
4. If she still has a curfew, then she is too young for you bro. Also, if she is sneaking out to be here right now, because of her curfew, then she is too young for you bro.
5. If she lies to her parents, she's too young for you, bro.
6. If her older brother comes after you while you're trying to smoosh or hook up, then she is too young for you, bro.

I can't think of anymore. If you have any, please comment below.

We're All Stupid!

Okay, I will admit that when it comes to love, I'm an idiot. I've done the stupidest things, from liking a kid that I thought liked me for about a year, to liking a kid who used to make fun of me because of my cross, and that he thought it was stupid.
When it comes to love, it's all something that we don't know every single answer to. It's something of trial and error, and we just have to figure out what's good for us.
Some have to go through this alone. I guess I'm lucky because I have my girls by my side, to tell me if I'm being stupid, to tell me if I'm doing something wrong, and to applaud me for doing something right. Sometimes, I learn more lessons through my friends, than the pages in a magazine.
From Charlotte, I learned to follow my heart, no matter where it lead me. I learned to look for love in places where you never expected. I learned to never say never, and that you don't chose who you fall for.
From Samantha, I learned to never trust someone who looks like a rapist.
From Miranda, I learned to keep my values when with a guy. I learned to never give myself completly away, and to never toss my morals away just for someone who is a temporary person in my life.
From Jenni, I learned to love myself, and to put myself first whenever I am with a guy, and even while in the flirting stages of the relationship. Thanks to her, I do me, and whatever happens, happen.
In love, we all have something to learn, because we can't know everything.

Where Are You?

Ever since, I was little, I was bred into thinking that there would be someone out there that would be right for me, someone that will save me from the hell that is my life.
But...
WHERE.
THE.
HELL.
IS.
He.
Maybe he's hiding in the witness protection program?
Or maybe he's nonexistant.
Everyday, I look at me, and I wonder where my prince is going to come.
But then, I appericate my friends, and I appericate that I have people to complain to. That, and having a man equals something called commitment, which is something scary.
I guess someday my prince will come.
I'm just tired of waiting.

*Hey guys, read my friend's writing. He's amazing, and talented, and you'll love it! Now. Go. Read. Learn.
http://www.wattpad.com/1968223-the-fame-game-chapter-two-arianna%27s-broken-arrow

To Fit the Mold?

Lately, I've noticed that people are trying to make others into the person that they want them to be, maybe the person that they wanted themselves to be, even, and they are living through them in some way, shape or form. People are not cookie dough, or clay. They can't be molded into some far fetched idea of what you want them to be. People tend to be a lot more harder to shape, because they have different ideas of what we are sposed to be. My mom thinks I should go to one college, close to home. I, however want to go to one that's a little farther, near a city, which I always dreamed of living because, I love city life.
I always thought about dreams. No matter how crazy they are, don't you want to support that loved one? Don't you want to be there for that person, because you love them, and you want to show support for them in what they do, whatever they decide to do in life, whether it's where they go to school, or whatever they pick as a career?
Well, I guess there is that whole "I love you so much that I don't want to see you screw up" thing. Maybe your parents are up your butt and not very supportive because they don't want to see you fall flat on your face? Maybe they don't want to see you fail?
But there's a thing about failure. It gives you tougher skin. It teaches you things that you'll learn. Like failing your driving test. It teaches you to study harder, with the help of friends like Miranda and Charlotte, who will help you make flash cards, and stay up until the early hours of the night, reveiwing. And then, you have the confidence to do the best you can, and hopefully pass.
Friends and family are like that safety net when you screw up. When you fall, you have the security that someone would always catch you.

Ladies And Gentlemen, Let Me Educate You With Some Good Music.

Everytime someone quotes something, or has a favorite song, I can't help but notice it's something that the radio plays, and really has no meaning to anyone.
And it drives me mad.
So, I've composed a list of artists of people that you never heard of, and maybe you have. They might have been popular a long time ago, but I think they are amazing, and that you all should go on youtube and look them up after you get a chance. Maybe, you can educate your taste in music, because some of the music played on the radio is horrible, although I do have some of it in my itunes. (No offense to the artists, but that mainstream shit isn't for me.) Here is some of my favorite artists of all time.

• AFI: Also, known as A Fire Inside. I liked them back in middle school, when their album DECEMBERUNDERGROUND came out. My favorite song, and video by them is "Miss Murder." The artist is basically punk and alternative, with lots of guitar. In addition to DECEMBERUNDERGROUND, their discography includes, Answer That and Stay Fashionable (1995), Very Proud of Ya (1996), Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes (1997), Black Sails in the Sunset (1999), The Art of Drowning, (2000), Sing the Sorrow (2003), DECEMBERUNDERGROUND (2006), I Heard A Voice (Live Album, 2007), and Crash Love (2009). Overall, although I don't have half of their songs, I recommend Caricenogen Crush, Girl's Not Grey, Miss Murder, Prelude 12/21, 37 mm, and Misera Cantore-The Beginning. Overall, great band for the people who like punk.
• ABBA: The old sweedish band in the 70s has been a favorite of mine since I was a little kid, when my mother told me about them, and listened to their album "Gold" on tape. (Yeah, that's old school) Anyways, the band was based in Sweeden, and one of the best bands in the seventies, next to Andy Gibb and the Bee Gees, and make disco amazing, and memorable. Their discography includes Ring Ring (1973), Waterloo (1974), ABBA (1975),  Arrival (1976), The Album (1977), Voluez Vous (1979), Super Trouper (1980), and The Visitors (1981). Although the band broke up because of marital issues, this band will always have a place in musical history. My recomendations include Move On, The Visitors, Hole In Your Sole, Dancing Queen, Knowing Me, Knowing You, Waterloo, Does Your Mother Know, Eagle, Arrival, Ring Ring, Lovers Live a Bit Longer and When All Is Said and Done.
• Bright Eyes: Okay, for all of you that know me, you know that this isn't a surprise. The band was founded by singer/songwriter Conor Oberst, and is on the record label Saddle Creek Records. The band remains one of my favorites, because the songs are real, and they speak to you with a sense of truth, and they are honest, which I like to hear in music. Disography includes: A Collection of Songs Written and Recorded in 1995-1997, (1997), Letting Off the Happiness, (1998), Every Day and Every Night-EP (1999), Fevers and Mirrors (2000), LIFTED or If The Story Is In The Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground (2002), Digital Ash In a Digital Urn (2004), I'm Wide Awake and It's Morning (2005), Cassadga (2007), and The People's Key (2011). My favorites include Four Winds, True Blue, Road to Joy, Reinvent the Wheel, Noone Would Riot for Less, First Day of my Life, When the President Talks to God, You Will. You Will. You Will?, Firewall, Clauraidents (Kill or Be Killed, and Lover I Don't Have to Love.
• JoJo: She's been my favorite since day one. Her voice is just so powerful, and I am so excited for her new stuff to come out this year. I still play all of her songs, despite the fact they aren't very current. Her discography includes JoJo (2004), and The High Road (2006). My favorite songs include This Time, The Way You Do Me, The High Road, Note to God, Breezy and Leave.

These artists never cease to amaze me, and I hope that you all can listen to them, and enjoy their amazing talents. Now, I just realized how much music I need to buy.

I'm Angry And Confused, Thanks Dad.

Ever feel your emotions bottled up inside you, and then when you shake your emotions, and then open it everything is covered with fizzy liquid? I feel that way, right here, right now. So, unlike Ben and Adrienne on Secert Life, who decided to take their anger out on the walls, I'm going to take a much different approach to it and put my feelings into a letter.
So here you go.
Dear Dad,
I'm angry. I'm angry at you. I'm angry at what happened. I'm angry that I had to grow up without a father. I'm angry that I'm always second best to you. I'm angry that I always have to mind my manners and filter what I have to say to you. I'm tired of you trying to make things into trouble. I'm angry that you like to say things about my mother, when my mother never mentions you.
I'm angry that I'm not a priority. Fourteen years of "I'll see you soon, don't worry," is starting to get old. No, it is old. It isn't fair that you can get my half brother guitar and lessons (after playing two other intruments), but then say that flute is a waste of time for me, because it's too expensive. I stuck with flute for six years, no wait, eight. How long will you stick with Cruella over there?
The thing that I'm mad most about, Dad, is the fact that you never made an effort to be a part of my life. You never cared to take the time to call, write, email, whatevr. Only during a holiday, or wanting me to be a part of some facade. Why do I have more memories of Grandpa, Dad, then of you? He's the defination of a father, a strong male figure that guided me in the right direction. He did all of the things that you should have done, and more. He's my real "father," and Dad, you are just a sperm donor, only a part of my biological nature.
It hurts to know that you would rather lie to me and my mother, than to give us the truth. You don't need to cover up things, no one cares. It hurts that you would rather lie and say that you were busy, rather than say "I'm not interested in trying to be there for you. I just want my newer, better family." That makes you look like a douche, but at least it doesn't make you look like a sneaky, evil douchebag.
I'm tired Dad of looking for your love in places where I'll get hurt. I'm tired of finding a father figure elsewhere, and breaking my heart farther. I'm tired of being afraid to jump to avoid getting hurt, because being hurt sucks, Dad.
Dad, I'm done. I'm done running after you. It's your turn to run after me.
Love,
Natalie

Broken Record Syndrome.

Ever like someone?
Wait that's a dumb question, of course you have liked someone. Everyone likes someone or liked someone. It's like asking if the sky is blue or something like that.
Anyways, let me rephrase that question. Have you ever liked someone, and then you can't get them out of your mind? Like you can be standing next to the most ripped person, a complete stud, and all you want is that person who doesn't give a shit about you. That person knows that you like them, and they act like they return their feelings for you, but they really don't.
Man, that sucks.
Man, that's my life.
I often wonder about this silly thing called love. I wonder if someone that is in your mind because they are glued there permantly, or that it's meant to be.
Or it's broken record syndrome. You know, when they used to have giant black circles instead of ipods, and they skipped over and over again?
That's what I have..I think.

Where does the time go?

Today, I started to fill out my planner. Then it dawned on me: In less then two weeks, I'll be a senior. I'll be the one who the tiny freshmen ask directions to the libary or some classroon, not the one asking the directions. Instead of getting lost and running to classes, I'll walk with swag to everyone. (yes, I said swag.) I'll know how things work and rephrase them to the little freshman.
Wow, I'm really going to be a senior.
I remember being that tiny freshman who didn't know anything or where to go or what to do with ourselves. We just were there, existing. I remember not having many friends, and stayed home and did nothing but go on facebook and watch other people live a fun and exciting life. I watched as people made fun of me for being a nerd, and for being so close to my grandparents on my laptop. I would go out with pretty much anyone who asked. I spoke in improper English. (And according to Chris, I still do. But hey, I'm getting better and better at it.)
Yeah, my freshman year sucked.
Somehow, I made friends (yay friends) good friends, and then I began to change, or mature if you will. I realized that you need standards in life. I became busy on Friday nights. And if someone said something bad about me, I developed a thick skin, and realized that I don't need someone to tell me that I'm not good enough for them, because if I'm not then it's their loss.
I really wish I knew these things in 2008. Oh, and discovered Bright Eyes, and the English Dictionary to help with that horrible grammar of mine.

I Don't Know What to Write.

Lately, I have a lot of topics that I could write about. Fights, wandering thoughts, waking up at two am because your afraid to find a mouse on your pillow (I'm afraid of mice, okay. I understand that they are harmless but those little things freak me out.), or the fact that it's raining out. (Well, where I am anyways.) I think I'll tackle all of those thoughts, because they are all mixed together in my mind, creating on giant melting pot of thought. (Hahaha, melting pot of thought. I'm a poet, bet you didn't even know it bro.)
Okay, back to writing about things that actually matter and relate.
Fighting with a parent is always a part of life. People fight, because no one can stay happy with that other person forever. Eventually someone will find something wrong, and then the people would be mad, and then sad because they have said somethings that they will regret.
Fighting is like a thunderstorm, if you will. You can survive it, if you know how to protect yourseldf, and if you know what not to do. If you do it the necesary steps to recover, than you can be stronger.
But somethings are too fragile, and eventually, in a harsh time will get destroyed. Then you just pick up the pieces up, and move on with your life.
Wandering thoughts is something that makes no sense to me. I often wonder about this one person who is always there for me. Charlotte says that you can not help who you fall for, but I can't help but wonder if you can. Samantha says that you can. But I have a feeling it's not that simple.
I don't feel like writing about mice, and rain, mainly because they are icky, so yeah.
I really need to do some yoga or something, I needa clear my mind.

Anger.

Anger. It's an emotion that gets the best of us. Because of it, we do things that we know that we will regret in the future. Things like hitting someone that we love, things like saying things to people that we hurt.
Anger is like a beast. It's the animal that lies untamed, and we have the control to tame it. Its the fire that burns inside, and when we let it burn too much, the fire becomes wild and things are ruined.
Man, that's a lot of metaphors for one emotion.
Anger, you suck.
Anger, you're rude.
Chris, you need to stop using the caps lock button. You're privileges of using it have been removed.
Anyways, back on topic..
What was the topic again?
Oh yeah, anger.
That's a scary emotion, kids be careful.

Influences, and Double Standards.

Girls, have you ever been told to stay away from a guy because you're parents said that he may be too be dangerous? Now think. Have you heard that line being used on your brother, your best guy friend, or your cousin? I bet not.
On televison sitcoms, we see dads trying to protect their daughters, by saying that the guy that they are dating is too nad for them. They even made a show about it. I personally think that they think that girls are more naive than boys are. It's like the parents think that girls' skin is a lot less tougher than a guy's skin is.
But can't guys be influenced too? Not all guys are bad, some tend to be really good. (Like Chris, he's pretty cool when he wants to be.) Guys are people too. They make mistakes, like girls. They may date the wrong girl as well as a girl can date the wrong guy. Everyone can date the wrong person, it's a part of life. You must know what doesn't fit before you can find out what does fit.
Anyways back to the point.
Ever heard the saying "boys will be boys?" It annoys me, I don't know about you. If a guy gets it in, he gets applauded. If a girl does, she's a whore.
Dating double standards are stupid.
Maybe, people expect guys to have less common sense than girls (no offense guy readers!), and people tend to think that women need more protecting then men do.
Why can't we date as people? No standards, no nothing. A guy can do something, so can a girl. These double standards of dating make no sense, and people have to unclear their blind eye to see that.

Isn't it My Choice?

Yesterday, I was bored, so I decided to watch Parental Control. While watching it, I thought about the right that we teenagers have to date whoever we want. I understand that not everyone we date is going to be liked by everyone, but isn't who we date and who we want to be with, our decesion, not our parents, or anyone else's for that matter? I mean it's a free country, we can date whoever we want. Parents can only steer us in the right direction when it comes to that, and hope that they taught us enough common sense to know what is good for us, and what is not good for us.
Parents tend to worry too much about their daughters, and not realize that they are smarter than they think they are and that they do have a good head on their shoulders, because they taught them to think for themselves and know what's best for you. No one but you knows whats best for you, but you.
Of course, the show does tend to showcase some real jerks who needs to respect their significant other. Some guys have no respect for the parents, nor the daughter.
The saying "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink" comes into my mind.
Sometimes, I think that people try to tell us how to feel, but no one really can do that, because you have control over your heart, and just like you have no control over what they do, no one else has control over what you do. They are like flies, buzzing with opinons, forcing you to listen to them. However, I think that although the show is a tad bit controlling, however it does have a good point. Women need to be treated with respect guys. And all you girls out there, if someone isn't treating you right, just walk away, because as the show does showcase, there is someone else who would.

*Also, lately I've been working on this article, and it's finally finished! Please show your support and read it here! Thank you! http://natations.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/5/

You know....

So, ever try to do the right thing, to make that first step of making things right? But then it all blows in your face, causing you to look stupid, and for you to feel like a complete fool. You're the one that said that you wanted a relationship with your daughter. So when I text you asking you if you want to get dinner, why do you ignore me? Does it have anything to do with that whore, that strumpet, who doesn't know anything, who wears the pants in your relationship? Are you a man, or are you a coward?
When my stepmom came to talk to me, I didn't know it was a prefatory of a bunch of bullshit that would be going on in the proceding months. It just isn't fair that you can talk the talk, but no, you're too good to walk the damn walk.
I shouldn't care about those things, but I do. It's something like a guilty pleasure, kinda of like Nutella is to me. (Yum Nutella). But the fact I do must mean that I'm either insane, or actually human with these emotions, and shit that I don't care about, and wish I didn't have, because sometimes emotions can be scary, and you don't know what to do, or how to deal with them. You try to run away, and then when you do, it all eventually catches up to you.
Man, Dad. Why don't you care?

Trolls.

Have you ever been trolled?
Do you even know what the term "troll" is? According to Urban Dictionary, its someone who posts a comment meaning to start an argument. (Well, that's my interpretation of it, me putting it into my own words, and shit like that.) Basically, a troll is a pain in the ass who comments your facebook status whenever they feel like starting an argument, or just wants to annoy you.
Be warned, these trolls are usually male, and enjoy causing trouble. Girls, keep your facebook away from them. Consider yourself warned.
And, on another note, I really like typing my blogs with Firefox. It's much faster than Internet Explorer. (I'm on my old computer, and it has Firefox, and I'm loving it. I should download it on my new computer.)
Okay, that was random. Back to these trolls.
They are annoying and stupid, just like the trolls in Harry Potter. There you go internet, be happy I posted shit. Aww yeah.

All Of My Mistakes In One Little Entry.

Regret. We all have it. Like, Ben regretting to marry Adrienne on Secert Life. Me regretting what happened with Luke Danes. Me regretting wasting so much time on Mr. Big when I had the feeling that he liked me, even though he didn't.
I wonder what life would be like without regrets. I wonder if it would be nice, you know, when everyone is always happy, and not thinking of a time when things were better, when the grass was greener on our side of the fence. If you make a mistake, you just think that "Oh, hello, I made a mistake. But I'm over it, and it's time to move on."
If only things were like that, when things could be done at the snap of the fingers, like magic almost. But hey, nothing in life is that easy.
I guess with emotion, there is regrets. There is a heart, and there is regrets on it's past.
But the thing about regrets, is that they can impact us in ways that you don't even know. Being sad because someone broke your heart after months and months, while still being sad, and still being in love with your ex is an example of these kinds of regrets. These kinds of regrets are the things that keep us from finding new, better love. There are people are there. There are people who will treat us better than the ones who have treated us like dirt. We just have to find them.