Today, a friend came to me with a probelm. A guy that was interested in her, whom she was not interested in, was telling her how much he loved her, and without her, he would kill himself. But, my friend said that she, being not interested in the guy, felt confused and didn't know what to do.
I then thought, at first, why would someone take their own life, because they have so much going for them, especially in high school. Why would someone feel that need, that without one person in their life, they can not go on living? Is it that need normal? Or is it true love? Or do they think it's love? Can teenagers truely fall in love?
Maybe it isn't normal. I feel like that if someone wanted me that way, I would be instantly calling a conselor or some trusted authority figure, who can help you. I mean, if someone wanted me that bad, they were obsessed with me, right? If they can not seek happiness outside your relationship, maybe then they, themselves are not healthy. Maybe then they should get a hobby, make some friends, or doing something besides obessing over the other person, or the person that they want to be their boyfriend/girlfriend...After all, significant others aren't everything in life. It may take time, but in the end, you will be able to move on, into something that is better than that relationship. Sure, it may hurt now, but in the end, you will be able to feel better about yoursel and realized that you lived without that person in your life before, you can do it once again.
After rereading my opinion on that, I realized that I am a bitch. Stone-cold bitch. If I had been the person, versus my friend, I would have been that's nice, but I don't like you, so can you just not go there? I don't know what has gotton into me. I used to believe in love, and it's intensity, like Rose and Jack from the Titanic. Of course, the circumstances were different, but if you were dying, then I would have been "screw you, I'm getting off of this boat''. Is it the love that is truest, the love that means the most to us? Is it the love that means the most, worth the most to be fought for? And how do you know?
I sometimes wonder if I could ever open my heart again, to someone that I am really starting to grow quite fond of. I always have that thought in the back of my mind that if I begin to feel too much, then the impact in the end would get worse and worse...
Maybe if I just open my heart, even just a little, i'd find the answer to these questions. But how, how to get rid of the fear that paralyzes me? After all, I do know the person whom I have feelings for shares no traits compared to the one that hurt me. He is kind, gentle, always there for me when I need someone to talk to, and I actually feel like he listens. I look foreward to seeing his face in the day, because he always knows how to put a smile on his face. I try to be there for him, as well, and hope that he knows that I will listen to him, because like him I actually like to hear what he has to say as well.
Maybe, just maybe, my time is now.
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