To someone...

I never thought I would be at loss to say something to someone in person. I guess, the best thing to do is to write what I feel about someone here. If this gets too wierd, I guess you can just say I'm crazy. But, then again, I already am.
You know who you are, if you are reading this. Your the one who I spend my lunch hours with, the one who knows how to make me smile when I feel sad, the one who helps me with my math homework. The one who has greenish eyes, (i think), and is a lot taller than I will ever be. The one who would listen to me hours on end talk about my ex-boyfriend who shouldn't be crossing my mind anymore. And he doesn't even cross my mind, most of the time now that I have this person in my life.
I guess somehow, I had delevloped feelings for this person, the first time I had ever felt anything, well since I had last gotton my heart broken. I had made things obivous, either with my big mouth, or a friends, and for that I am a fool, an idiot with a big mouth who can never keep a secert to herself for longer than a week. I know that by"telling the world" isn't their style, and I realize I am pushing them into something I know they don't want.
To this person I'm writing about, I know you will never read this, but I am sorry for all of the games that I have played with your mind, and your heart. I realize that I am pushing you into something that I know you don't want, and for that, I am sorry. I guess that's what I had interpretted by what you were saying all of those times during lunch. I guess my interpretation of everything was wrong. I guess that in the end, I was the one that would get hurt, the one with the big mouth, the one who can never get anything right.. I want to be your friend, and I understand that's all I ever will be to you. It takes time, but I know these crazy feelings will go away. I am sorry if I had hurt you in any sort of way. I hope that sometime, along the line we can be just friends, good friends, I hope, because you are truely a great man. Someone who I trust, and will always be there for me. I guess if you know who you are while you read this, and are offended for this riduclous blog entry, I am sorry.
I guess that in the end, we all make mistakes, in love, life and basically anything. We're human, for heaven's sake. What I ask from you, is for you to forgive me for all of the ones that I have made with you.