I'm Angry And Confused, Thanks Dad.

Ever feel your emotions bottled up inside you, and then when you shake your emotions, and then open it everything is covered with fizzy liquid? I feel that way, right here, right now. So, unlike Ben and Adrienne on Secert Life, who decided to take their anger out on the walls, I'm going to take a much different approach to it and put my feelings into a letter.
So here you go.
Dear Dad,
I'm angry. I'm angry at you. I'm angry at what happened. I'm angry that I had to grow up without a father. I'm angry that I'm always second best to you. I'm angry that I always have to mind my manners and filter what I have to say to you. I'm tired of you trying to make things into trouble. I'm angry that you like to say things about my mother, when my mother never mentions you.
I'm angry that I'm not a priority. Fourteen years of "I'll see you soon, don't worry," is starting to get old. No, it is old. It isn't fair that you can get my half brother guitar and lessons (after playing two other intruments), but then say that flute is a waste of time for me, because it's too expensive. I stuck with flute for six years, no wait, eight. How long will you stick with Cruella over there?
The thing that I'm mad most about, Dad, is the fact that you never made an effort to be a part of my life. You never cared to take the time to call, write, email, whatevr. Only during a holiday, or wanting me to be a part of some facade. Why do I have more memories of Grandpa, Dad, then of you? He's the defination of a father, a strong male figure that guided me in the right direction. He did all of the things that you should have done, and more. He's my real "father," and Dad, you are just a sperm donor, only a part of my biological nature.
It hurts to know that you would rather lie to me and my mother, than to give us the truth. You don't need to cover up things, no one cares. It hurts that you would rather lie and say that you were busy, rather than say "I'm not interested in trying to be there for you. I just want my newer, better family." That makes you look like a douche, but at least it doesn't make you look like a sneaky, evil douchebag.
I'm tired Dad of looking for your love in places where I'll get hurt. I'm tired of finding a father figure elsewhere, and breaking my heart farther. I'm tired of being afraid to jump to avoid getting hurt, because being hurt sucks, Dad.
Dad, I'm done. I'm done running after you. It's your turn to run after me.
Love,
Natalie