Used to Be Used to Is Used.

Ever been used by a person? You know, for money, or for company, or for all of them fancy things that are out there?
I've been used by Harry, someone using me as a pawn to get over some girl that he wasn't spposed to like, and apparently, being with me helped or some shit. Or he realized that he wanted to be with her, and I guess I helped with the decesion making proccess.
Whatever.
Recently, I got to thinking. And I realized something. I realized that I did the same thing, to a different person, without the whole I love you thing. In order to forget about Mr. Big, I used Luke for that.
I guess that I'm more like Harry than I thought. Just great. If I start walking like a robot, then please stab me with a fork or something.
I thought by using Luke, I would be able to get over Big, and perhaps be in some sort of relationship by now. Instead, I think I've trapped myself in a hole that I hope I can get out of with Mr. Big, that whole I text him, he doesn't respond kind of thing. I miss him more than ever, and I think about those eyes, although I wish that I didn't. I always think to myself, what would Big tell me to do if I was with him at this exact moment.
More than anything I want a time machine. To skip the time I spent with Luke, and to spend it all with Big. He was always nicer. But no, I had to be stupid. I had to spend time with the boy who draws dirty pictures, and doesn't give a shit. When Luke made fun of Big, I could have not laughed, and I could have been defending him. I could have saved him some trouble by not having those pretend feelings, which at the time I thought were real, and then people wouldn't be going behind my fucking back, to talk about what was going on between us.
In the end, by using someone, I ended up screwing myself.
I guess that's what I get for using someone in the first place.