Jumping

I never thought I could get the nerve to do it. But I did.
I managed to ask Luke about his feelings for me. Why he acts so odd around me.
And now, I wait. I wait for his response, whether good or bad. I wait for the reasons why something is going to happen, and surprised at the nerve I had to simply just ask.
I feel a sense of me accomplishing my fear of opening myself up. No matter what he says, I know that I finally was able to say what the hell his deal was. What the hell was up with everything that you say and do? How quiet you are when I'm around. It doesn't make sense, how you just sit there quietly whenever I'm involved or anything.
Maybe you'll never even answer my email.
Maybe, I guess I should just be proud of myself for actually getting the balls and the nerve to say what I was trying to say for the longest time to Big. Nine months of waiting for Big to say it first, and then I walked, because I realized how stupid I was being. I realized how stupid waiting for someone that will never come to me is.
Awww well. At least I got the balls to ask him.
Maybe he likes me. Maybe he doesn't. At least know I know.
I think I have summer crush syndrome, when you do things you won't do any other time. You feel like you're doing the things, jumping the edge of glory.
Maybe that's why summer crush syndrome isn't available year round.